Well, family stuff & circumstances have me completing this later in September than I would have wanted — and just now I discovered that the header image says “September” when the reviews are actually from August 2024. Sigh! Another thing to try to do before I run off to talk briefly about D&D at Lake Geneva’s 2nd annual Dragon Days!
And now that that’s done, and I’m back from day 1 of Dragon Days but pretty wiped out. Notables for this month are the end of my easy access to one of my faves, Midsomer Murders. I may have to pick up another pay service to see the 2 most recent seasons. And because I’m pretty tired right now, I’ll just get right to the reviews…
Here’s the usual ratings system:
* – This film is not good. Avoid it unless you tolerate dreck well.
** – A flawed film. You may enjoy it if you like this genre or the folks in it.
*** – A good solid film. If you like this genre, you’ll probably like this film.
**** – A superior film within its genre. Thoroughly enjoyable.
***** – An outstanding film on many levels. A great example of its genre.
Note that some shows I’ve given a parenthetical star rating, usually adding (occasionally subtracting) stars, depending on how your amusement may differ from mine. I’ve explained the meaning in the reviews themselves. Mostly.
Reptilicus (Danish version) ***(*) The great new blu-ray of REPTILICUS features both the Danish cut and the US one. In the Danish cut, there is no slime spitting, no paper-cutout animation, & Reptilicus flies! That looks a little silly, but I actually appreciated seeing the film in its “other” version. I won’t say “original,” because they were apparently done at the same time for US & Danish audiences. A drilling operation discovers the tail of a giant reptile frozen in the tundra. Taken to a lab, the tail regenerates into the titular monster which then wreaks havoc on the Denmark. Fans of cheese will surely enjoy either version, but I love this slightly silly monster film for its sincerity. For those like me, it gets another star.
Invasion of the Saucermen ***(*) Little green (we assume — as the film is black & white) men from outer space land their saucer in the woods near a small US town & cause havoc among the locals in this SF/horror/comedy. The creature design by Paul Blaisdell is iconic, the authorities useless, & teens the stars of this perfect-for-the-drive-in movie. It also features an early performance by Frank Gorshin (the Riddler from the Batman TV series). Sadly, this is one of the films tied up with Susan Hart, but happily — for some reason — a pretty good print is now available digitally from Amazon.
Cult of the Cobra (Sven) *** A group of GIs sneak into the temple of a cobra cult & witness forbidden rites, accidentally starting a riot where someone is killed, before returning home to the US. They think they’ve left the incident behind, but the Cult of the Cobra follows them back home, where they start dying one by one under mysterious circumstances. A minor Universal supernatural (no fake out) classic with David Janssen, Marshall Thompson, & Faith Domergue headlining a fine cast.
Sodom & Gomorrah (aka The Last Days of Sodom and Gomorrah) **** Stewart Grainger is surprisingly good as Lot in this rousing US-Italian adaptation of the classic Biblical tale. Lot and the Israelites cease their wandering when offered land by the rulers of the titular cities. Soon they face not only the temptations of civilization, but threats from rival city-states, bent on conquering the area. The conflict forces Lot’s people into the city, and then… Well, you know the outcome of the story, probably, but it’s handled well here & the destruction scenes & “shocking” end are worthy of the subject. I was pleased to find it better than I remembered.
Curucu Beast of the Amazon (1956) **(*) Curt (The Wolf Man) Siodmak wrote & directed this jungle adventure where white folks venture into the Amazon to find out what is scaring workers away from the plantations. They’re also looking for a drug headhunters have that may help fight cancer. They run into local political plots & the titular beast — which sadly is less than it appears. This film looks great, but it plays into standard jungle cliches & the beast reveal is super disappointing. Those who have a high tolerance for such nonsense can give it that extra star. Blu-ray looks great, though!
Midsomer Murders 20-3 Drawing Dead ***** John Barnaby & Winter get involved in the Midsomer Comics Festival when a former supermodel is killed & a comic book seems to be based on local people, many of whom may be implicated in the murder. A really fun bit of cosplay is one of the highlights of this show. (Though as usual, the TV show doesn’t seem to completely understand publishing or how comics are actually made.)
Brides of Blood (1968) *** This South Seas Islands exploitation picture comes to us from the Philippines & for me, it’s a lot more fun than it should be. Local natives are sacrificing their women to a monster from the jungle. Rather than let that continue, some white doctors & adventures come to sort things out. The beast is horrible, the semi-naked women are pretty, & there’s gore for fun, too. Sure, the twists aren’t very surprising, but the new blu-ray version looks good & if you like monsters, this is fun.
Mad Magician, The (Sven 1954) *** Vincent Price is an inventor of magic tricks who decides to strike out on his own — only to face legal troubles from the magicians he used to work for. Naturally, when they get nasty, he gets nastier, resulting in some fun revenge moments, plus a bit of suspense. Price is fun to watch, as always.
Midsomer Murders 20-4 The Lions of Causton **** John Barnaby’s aging body gets to relive his rugby glory days (with associated aches & pains) when a local rugby star turns up dead. Suspects include his own teammates, members of the opposing team(s), & past friends & lovers. The whole is complicated by struggles to stay profitable within the league, & whether the team will continue at all. Fun.
House of the Dragon (S2) **** The second season of House of the Dragon features the usual complicated political intrigues, but we also get more involved with the existing characters & even become fond of some new ones, or minor ones which we hadn’t really paid attention to. And there are some twists & turns, of course, plus dragons, battles, & other special effects. Looks good & I liked it better than S1.
Legend of the Lost (1957) *** Ambitious Rossano Brazzi hires dissolute adventurer Joe January (John Wayne) to help him find a lost city. Prostitute Sophia Loren decides to tag along, because both men treat her okay, & of course she must choose between them. Henry Hathaway’s direction &the fine photography & sets help keep the search interesting, plus there are some twists I didn’t expect. Decent adventure “programmer.”.
Unknown, The (1946) **** The “I Love a Mystery” duo gets a film where they go to an Old Dark House & try to help an amnesiac heiress claim her rightful inheritance. Naturally, there are other relatives who would prefer she never did — even if it means killing her. A fun, well-produced mystery-suspense film from its era. Happily, available streaming.
Fifth Element, The (1997) **** Bruce Willis drives a flying cab into which falls Leeloo, a scantily dressed (3D printed!) alien woman who might possibly be the key to saving the world, if not the entire universe. This SciFi classic works on both action & comedy levels & the production values are great, too. Plays like a European SF comic.
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) **** For me, this film is the perfect companion watch for The Fifth Element. Special agent Valerian & his super-competent partner (& crush) Laureline uncover a Galactic plot to capture a unique creature that will help the bad guys’ plot to seize power — after those bad guys nearly wiped out a planet to obtain it. Based on the European comic series, this film has great production values & a plot that’s twisty enough to keep things interesting.
McDonalds & Dodds 3-1 Belvedere **** Linguistics & accents play a part in the mystery of a young woman who turns up dead, sunning herself in a chair in a busy public park. Was her teacher, who specializes in teaching accents, her killer? Is it the woman learning to talk like she’s from somewhere else, or…? A fun mystery.
Waterworld (1995) **** Kevin Costner is The Mariner, an action-hero loner plying the never-ending seas of a future where the icecaps have melted,& dry land is now only a myth. Basically, this is a water-borne knockoff of The Road Warrior (the ocean is a desert with apparently little/no rainfall), with Dennis Hopper as a madman captaining the rusting Exxon Valdez & trying to control everybody. Production values are good, stunts are almost entirely practical — & very good — & I love the ocean setting. Sure, the science isn’t so good, but… Screw it! It’s High Adventure!
McDonald & Dodds 3-2 A Billion Beats ***** Formula One racing forms the backdrop of this mystery, in which a driver dies while at a brief pitstop during a racing session. As an F1 fan, I found this mystery, with Paul (Doctor Who) McGann as a Team Principal, especially interesting. For regular mystery fans, there are plenty of suspects & intrigue, too.
Doom: Annihilation (2019) *** An experimental portal on Phobos (moon of Mars) is supposed to conenct to Earth, but instead it opens a gate to a demon-filled dimension (Hell?). Or course, the demons come through, turning humans into their own kind & causing all kinds of problems. I guess the premise of this is a little closer to the original game (which I played a little) than the first film, & the action is pretty good, if standard. I liked a character or two as well, and the hellish climax is okay. Amusing in a low-budget kind of way.
Underwater! (1955) *** Jane Russell & her treasure hunting friends/crew run across a promising wreck, only to be dogged by a boat of shifty shark hunters determined to discover their secret and take the treasure for themselves. A handsome 1950s adventure film with a good cast.
It Came from Beneath the Sea (Sven) **** Ray Harryhausen’s octopus (which really only had 6 arms) is the start of this classic SF-monster movie. The world is in peril from a radioactive sea-beast set loose on the world & heading for San Francisco. Kenneth Toby, Faith Domergue, & the rest of the cast are excellent & of course the special effects are top notch. Another Harryhausen film that influenced many, many monster movies to follow.
Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life *** Angelina Jolie is back seeking the titular Cradle of Live in the second big screen Lara Croft, Tomb Raider, adventure. There’s plenty of action to string together the plot & the production is good. In some sense, there’s really not much of a plot, but honestly, what one hopes for in these type of modern adventure films is a good roller coaster ride & perhaps some nice locations & settings. On those, the film delivers. There’s a even bit of character conflict at the climax — though nothing really unexpected.
Shetland (S5) ***** When a body cut to pieces washes up, it leads Perez, Tosh, & associates to a ring of human trafficking & sexual exploitation hidden among the peaceful-seeming Shetlands. A strong & heartbreaking series.
Midsomer Murders 20-5 Till Death Do Us Part **** John & Sarah Barnaby’s attendance at a wedding turns into mystery when the bride turns up murdered between the wedding and the reception, which is only the first of a series of bride-based murders & attacks. Naturally, there are past mysteries to unravel & hidden motivations that lead to the current killings, as well as family problems on numerous levels. Life would be simpler if people weren’t so deceptive! 😀
Monster Force Zero ** A group of comic creators who cosplay their own superhero team get swept up by aliens who give such people real powers & then have them face off against each other. The inclusion of a yeti & a T-Rex (that shoots lasers from its eyes) hooked me into seeing this low-budget effort. It has some good qualities (yeti makeup is just fine), but ends up feeling both plot thin & too long. Still, I admire the effort.
Midsomer Murders 20-6 Send in the Clowns ***** Sinister clowns are among the suspects when one of the funnymen is shot during an act at a small-time “boutique” circus. Family tensions over who should run the circus & how, & a tragic accidental death in the circus’s past also figure into the mysteries that John Barnaby & Winter must solve.
Giant Claw, The (1957) ***(*) The world is threatened by a super-fast giant anti-matter bird (!) that ends up being represented by one of the goofiest special effects puppets of all time. Known for this classically bad SPFX, people often overlook the fact that, gooney-bird aside, this is a pretty good 1950s SF film with good actors, including Mara Corday, & otherwise strong production values. Honestly, I’ve come to love it — even the bird/claw. If Harryhausen had done the effects, this might have been considered a classic, instead of “so bad it’s good.” If you enjoy wacky 50s SF with sometimes-goofy monsters, like me, it gets that 4th star.
Midsomer Murders 21-1 The Point of Balance ***** A gala Dance Extravaganza turns grim when a former dance champion is found dead with a tulle (ballet skirt) stuffed into her mouth. Of course, that’s only the first murder in the highly competitive world of dance. This episode is highlighted by the appearance of actor Tom Chambers (the police detective on Father Brown) getting to show off his dance steps (which he did in one FB episode, too). It also marks the wrap-around for me on Midsomer Murder episodes that are on my current streaming services — though there remain 2 seasons I haven’t seen.
Meg 2 (2023) **(*) The Meg was a fun film, pretty well constructed, somewhat faithful to the book, & entertaining. This film takes only a few ideas from the original book’s sequel, takes out all of the family drama & suspense, replaces it with an extra hero character, a giant octopus (why?), & completely changes the dinosaurs in the original, too. As my friend Terry Frost might say, it’s a “dog’s breakfast” of a movie (made up of leftovers). Still, if you’re in the right frame of mind for mindless entertainment, you can give it that extra star. A growing Meg breaks out of an aquarium & causes havoc while its former captors try to hunt it down to save the Asian seacoast from becoming a smorgasbord. The opening dinosaur sequence is the film’s high point.
Croc! (2022) **(*) An English (Australian?) country wedding is interrupted when the participants start being killed by a maniacal crocodile that seems to outwit the guests at every turn. Fun, but with some slow parts. If you’re like me, you may enjoy it.
Caddy Hack (2023?) **(*) A golf course groundskeeper accidentally unleashes havoc when his attempts to rid the course of gophers actually mutates the critters into bloodthirsty beasts. Lots of gore and evil gophers with glowing eyes highlight this film for me. The satire of golf course politics (including an owner who might be a current ex-president) can be funny, too. Overall, this low-budget film is inconsistent, but I enjoyed it.
Five Nights at Freddie’s (2023?) *** Josh Hutcherson is a troubled young man, struggling to keep a job & support his young sister. Perhaps his luck has changed when the gets a night watchman job at a closed-down Freddy’s (a Chuck-E-Cheese-like restaurant). But when he falls asleep on the job (a constant) problem, while babysitting his sister, she befriends the animatronic animals, who come to life at night. There’s nothing really groundbreaking in this 2023 black comedy-horror film, but I enjoyed the heck out of it. And the backstory & character stuff is quite good, too.
Wad, The (2024) **** Christopher R. Mihm corrals his family & stock players for his first mocumentary film, in which a grown-up Danny Johnson, reporter, interviews the residents of Phantom Lake, WI, about the time when the town was nearly destroyed by a giant wad of living chewing gum. The documentary style works & there’s plenty of the expected gentle Midwestern humor, plus enough in-jokes and fan-service for any returning viewer. Should be good for first-timers & the kiddies, too. Another fine Mihm film.
Black Friday (1940 – Sven) **** When his best friend, Kingsley, is nearly killed in a car crash with a gangster, Boris Karloff uses his amazing surgery skills to save the man’s life by transplanting part (all?) of the gangster’s brain into Kingsley’s body. But Karloff gets greedy for the gangster’s lost loot & begins an experiment to see if the memories of that money’s location can be recovered. And that’s when things go wrong. A classic SF/noir/crime drama, it’s only a shame that Lugosi doesn’t have a bigger role. (He’s a rival gangster.)
Sheena (1984) **(*) Young woman lost in the African wilderness is raised by tribal people & becomes a female Tarzan, Sheena, who protects the land & is friend wit all the animals. Naturally, some evil white folk want to pave paradise & put up a parking lot — oh, & claim an amazing local drug which seems to bring people back from near death. Sheena & some newfound friends, including a handsome potential beau, fight the bad guys in a pretty standard action flick shot in lovely locations. Tanya Roberts looks good as Sheena, & even displays some brief nudity. The film is too long, though, so unless you’re a pulp fan or love the comics character or Tanya, you’ll want to dock this one that parenthetical star.
Vera 2-3 A Certain Samaritan **** When a young man’s body is found in a dumpster, it turns out he fell from a bridge, was carried from the scene in the back of a lorry (truck), & his life wasn’t as clean-cut as everyone involved first pretended it was. Another emotionally tough & compelling mystery for Vera & her team to solve.
Shetland (S6) ***** In the middle of a phone conversation with his daughter, a prominent lawyer leaves to answer the phone and… BANG! He’s shot dead. The reason why is tangled with a drilling rig, a politician running for office, & of course secrets from the man’s past (& present). Perez, Tosh, & crew must sort through all that & also issues in their own lives to solve the crimes.
Loch Ness Terror aka Beyond Loch Ness (2008) **(*) I guess maybe the start of this is in Loch Ness, but after that it moves to a Ness-like location in the Americas as aquatic dino-like creatures menace the local populace. Being a SyFy-type film, there are plenty of “quality kills” in this puppy, & though the CGI Nessies look pretty goofy, the practical monsters used in close-ups are good. (An extra star for me.) Our heroes try to hunt & kill the monsters’ before they spread worldwide.
Murder on Approval (1956 aka Barbados Quest) *** This film is about collecting valuable stamps, which is apparently worth killing for. When Tom Conway is hired to investigate & keep a rare stamp safe, he soon falls into an underground stamp-collecting/selling racket. Though this is not part of The Falcon series, Conway’s presense, & that of his similar sidekick, make this feel like another installment of the long-running series, just slightly updated to the mid-50s. If you like the classic mystery series, you’ll probably dig this.
Ghosts on the Loose (1943) *** A marriage in the East Side Kids (proto Bowery Boys), has the gang deciding to clean up the couple’s new house before they get there. Unfortunately, they mistake the “haunted” house across the street for the house they want, which puts them into conflict with the gangster/spy ring — including Bela Lugosi – using the haunted place as a front. An amusing entry in the series.
Up from the Depths (1979) **(*) Deep under the sea is a Cthulhu-like creature that scientists want to get samples of in order to perhaps make new medical discoveries for all mankind. (At least, that’s how I remember the McGuffin premise of this story.) Once they get samples, though, the rogue monster/Old One’s cells start making people mad & monstrous aboard the submersible station/submarine in which this story is set. The practical SPFX are good at times & I found myself torn between wishing there had been more of them & that they’d been more clever with their screen time. If you’re a Lovecraft or practical FX fan, like me, this gets the extra star.
For All Mankind (S4) **** Mankind is now on Mars, but naturally mankind has brought all of its usual problems into space along with them in the 4th season of this excellent series. Back on Earth, greed runs rampant when an asteroid full of rare minerals could, perhaps, be brought into Earth orbit for mining… IF our Martian outposts will cooperate. Our returning characters have various stakes in this outcome, as well as problems of their own. Another really good season & I guess we’re getting at least 2 more. Can hardly wait.
What’s New Scooby-Doo (S1) **** Scooby-Doo returns (again & again) in this 2002 series, which is very similar to the original series in tone and content. The gang’s personalities have been updated a bit, but I’m a big fan of the original & this follows its formula of evil folks pretending to be monsters in elaborate schemes to rip off unsuspecting victims. I prefer that to supernatural Scooby (though Mystery, Inc.) did a good job of combining the two. Anyway, there are a few seasons of this & I expect to enjoy them all. Kid stuff, for sure — but I’ve always been a Big Kid.
Operation Titian (1963) ** Italian-American production about a stolen Titian painting & a number of people who want it, one or more of whom is actually killing people to get it. This film forms the basis of the next 3 films. I was crazy enough to watch them all in sequence. This one is a pretty well shot but tepid crime drama.
Portrait in Terror (1965) **(*) This version of the film ads some extra explanatory sequences & cuts out some of the boring start of Operation Titian for the American audience. So, it gets a new title. The added sequences make some things clearer, but they also tend to run longer. So while I liked it better, your mileage may vary.
Blood Bath (1966) *** Probably the best of the Operation-Titian-based films, this takes the stolen painting idea, uses a bunch of the footage, and SOMEHOW manages to turn it into a horror picture about an artist who becomes a monster and turns his victims into art — similar to Bucket of Blood. Which is not surprising, given that Corman had a hand in this production.
Track of the Vampire (1966) **(*) This version of the film is like Blood Bath (based on Operation Titian), but with some expanded scenes to make it more suitable for TV, and with a bit of gore cut (IIRC) for that same purpose. It’s about as good as Blood Bath, but the extra-long chase sequence is kind of annoying, so you might want to knock off a star for that.
War of the Colossal Beast (Sven) *** Sequel to the Amazing Colossal Man (which I wish had an actual 21st Century release!), this film posits that the first film’s titular hero, Manning, survived his apparent demise & has been wreaking havoc in the desert countryside. His sister wants to save him & the government wants to study him, but you know in the end, he’ll go on the rampage once more. Quite a good sequel with a shocking ending.
And that’s it for the month. The totals for August 2024 are 47 for the month, bringing my yearly total to 373.
NEXT MONTH: September I hit another magical birthday, making me eligible for new benefits I hope not to use for a while, and I suffered a long-expected but very sad family loss. So… Things are kinda screwed up as I write this, and I’m not sure how it will all work out by September’s end. But there’ll be a whole bunch of reviews, that’s for sure! And a monstrous October is just around the bend. See you then!
Covid is still here & YOU can still help!
Please… #VaxUp! #BoostUp! #MaskUp!
Let’s Make the World Safer for Everyone!
Remember, you can support this and all my other writing work, including Frost Harrow, Dr. Cushing’s Chamber of Horrors, Monster Shark on a Nude Beach, and more, by joining my Patreon for a buck or two a month, or by dropping me a tip on my Ko-Fi page. Thanks!
